LYRICS

NOVELTIES (2016)
EVERY FLAVOR
Wouldn't life be sad... without a little sweetness
There'd be some incompleteness if you ask me
If you ask me, if you ask me
... buddy you're in luck... this is the ice cream truck
With seven hundred fifty three ice cold novelties

Chorus: Every flavor, every variety-ty
Come on down, you'll see-see
A tasty... symphony

Why don't you step right up and grab a sundae cup
With chocolate and vanilla swirled in harmony
Wouldn't it be nice, to have a lemon ice
Sweet and sour and just a little bit tangy

Chorus

Firecrackers, creamsicles and push up pops
The selection in the freezer is really the tops
We've got drumsticks, fudgsicles and screwballs by the box
200 cartoon characters on a stick, well we're making it a little bit hard to pick
But you'll find one that will simply make your day!

Barbershop "I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream"

Chorus (with scatting)
SWEATY YETI
Setting off on a journey, my backpack strapped on tight
Heading up to the mountains to settle for the night
Making camp could have sworn I saw a supernatural sight
Was that a yeti?

Couldn't be, imaginary, like trolls and unicorns
It galloped by with such speed, sweatband covering is horns
What could it be always running? And was it really born
So sweaty?

Life can be frenetic when you're sweaty, sweaty yeti.

He's no ordinary snowman with a carrot for a nose
Can jump over quicksand, ‘snot wearing any clothes
Well I can't be certain but I guess I will propose
That he's a yeti
Does he have a gold medallion buried in that hairy chest?
Does he scale the Himalayas, put his whiskers to the test?
Maybe he's got a special someone that he's trying to impress
By being sweaty.

Life can be frenetic when you're sweaty
Everything is hectic but he's totally ready
And he looks majestic, sweaty yeti
Breakdown

The telephone rings, it's the newsman, askin for a scoop
He wants to know if the yeti has really flown the coop
Word is that he's runnin in a great big loop
And he's holdin' steady

Day and night he pounds the pavement, over hill and over dale
Fists pumpin til the morning, lost the keys and broke the scale
Keep your eyes around the corner, or you'll be whipped up by his tail
If you're not already

Thought they'd understand but they weren't ready
When they see him runnin' people feelin unsteady
Got to keep on runnin sweaty yeti


SHOW AND TELL
Hey now what will you bring
You can choose anything
Hey, hey, ho, ho
For the show and tell

Hey now what will you bring
You can choose anything
Hey, hey, ho, ho

Monday started normally
With a shell Mia brought in from the sea
Held it up to our ears so carefully...
That's how you do at the show and tell

Edgar got some new sunglasses
He brought em in to show off to the masses
Round the circle, everybody passes
Looking good at the show and tell

Chorus

Tuesday got a little weird
Sue's pet lizard, with the crazy beard
It peed on the rug and the whole class cheered
Cracking up at the show and tell

Wednesday it was wacky too
Ella shared her family's new canoe
Round the circle, it was hard to do
But we passed it for the show and tell

Break it down now
1-2-3 pass

Chorus

Thursday was my turn at school
So I brought in a backyard kiddie pool
Filled it up and jumped in off a stool
Getting crazy at the show and tell

Friday things got out of hand
With the high school Marching band
Jake's sister led with baton in hand
We paraded for the show and tell

CHASING MY TAIL
I've been chasing my tail
Runnin' in circles once again
You know it never does fail
To surprise me when
I've been chasing my tail
Like a little doggy would
When what I need
Is right under my nose

Sometimes I'm like that little doggy
Who thinks he's seen a little squirrel
Just when that varmint's in my grips
It's just my tail between my lips
Owww! I did it again

I've been chasing my tail
Like a little doggy would
You know it never does fail
It never ends up good
When I'm chasing my tail
Runnin' in circles once again
When what I need
Is right under my nose

I swear my neighbor's grass is so much greener
Over the fence on the other side
But get up close to see
And my neighbor stares at me,
Saying, "Hey neighbor, your lawn just looks so nice!"

Chasing my tail
Putting the cart before the horse
Off the scent of the trail
Back where I was of course
Chasing my tail
Looking all over everywhere
When what I need
Is right under my nose

Every time I bite that tail it's smaller by a smidge
But that don't keep me nipping at it still
Take a bite you see, mmmm that tastes like me!
If you are what you eat, I haven't changed a bit

I've been chasing my tail
Runnin' in circles once again
You know it never does fail
To surprise me when
I've been chasing my tail
Like a little doggy would
When what I need Is right under my nose

SNOWBALL
CHORUS: Snowball, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-ooh x2 When summer comes along I've saved a little something for you whoa-oh-oh

In the freezer,
Tucked behind the ice cube trays
There's a relic from the past
A container,
With a snowball packed inside
And it's built to last-ooh

It's a... (CHORUS)

Do you remember
I was headed down the sledding hill
At a breakneck pace
When I finally
Slowed down at the bottom
I got hit in the face-ooh
By your...

(spoken) We agreed to the rules
Never aim at the head
Never hit someone while he's down
But I guess a big brother
Thinks he's above the law
Well things will be turning around

Come this June
When your birthday comes around
When you're turning twelve years old
I have a present
That I'm gonna give to you
Cause revenge is best served cold

It's a... (CHORUS)

When summer comes around I've saved a little something for you...
PIGGYBACK
In the morning when I'm oh so tired
Lyin' under the covers, feelin' uninspired
I gotta get down to the breakfast table
But I really don't think that I'm physically able
It's so comfy underneath these sheets
I need a ride, that would be real sweet
Just then, my dad, he bounces to the bed
And lifts me way above his head
And then we're bumping down the hall
Yo catch me ridin' on a piggyback

Piggyback...

At the pumpkin patch the other day
We were in our boots, marching round in mud and hay
Found a little pumpkin growing on a vine
Picked it for our house and I was feeling fine
But I'm kind of a squirt and in the dirt my feet they hurt
And it was really far to make it back to the car
Just then, my mom, she lifts me ‘bove her head
I'm gonna get a ride instead
Now we're bumping ‘cross the patch
Yo catch me ridin' on on a piggyback

Piggyback...

Pop quiz!
What's a way to get up the stairs? A PIGGYBACK
Come on down from a really high chair? A PIGGYBACK
A way to get around that's really fun? A PIGGYBACK
Pickles onions and a sesame seed bun? THAT'S A BIG MAC

A big stream, how'll you get across? A PIGGYBACK
Master blaster, where do you ride when you're boss? A PIGGYBACK
Some ribs all smothered with sauce? THOSE ARE BABYBACK
You win!

Late at night when the dinner and dessert is done
We decide to have ourselves a little fun
Jumping over cushions my moves will take the cake
I think I made a mistake
‘Cuz I'm tired and I'm grumpy and I need to crash
But my bedtime is creepin up oh so fast
Just then, my dad, he puts me ‘on his back
I'll get a ride in seconds flat
And then we're bumping up to bed
Yo catch me ridin' on a piggyback

Alright, you kids get to bed, I'll get the storybook
Y'all tucked in? YEAH
Good night!

BEAR WITH A BEAR
There is Claire
In her chair (ooh)
Holding her number one
Stuffed animal bear (stuffed animal bear)
She carries it everywhere
They go together, they're quite the pair

And Claire's bear
Has a bear (ooh)
A smaller version of itself
It only seems to be fair (only seems to be fair)
For it to have it's own bear
To carry here, there and everywhere

Everyone seems quite agreed
In a friend you can squeeze

What's that there
The smaller bear (ooh)
Is holding an even tinier
Teddy bear (tiny teddy bear)
So that's a bear with a bear
Who's holding a yet another bear

And I declare
With raised hair (ooh)
There's an even teensier little bear (teensy teddy bear)
In the arms of the bear
Who's in the arms of the bear of a bear

Everyone seems quite agreed
In a friend you can squeeze

If you were to stare
It would be more than you could bear
Cause all the cuddling and care
That's nested down in there

If you really were to stare
It would be more than you could bear
Cause all the cuddling and care...

This whole bear affair
Began to attract attention from everywhere
People were quite aware that there were hundreds of bears upon bears

Scientists everywhere
They arrived at Clair's house with great fanfare
With the greatest of care they tried to find the world's smallest bear

Everyone seems quite agreed
In a friend you can squeeze

If you were to stare
It would be more than you could bear
Cause all the cuddling and care
That's nested down in there

If you really were to stare
It would be more than you could bear
Cause all the cuddling and care...

Bear with bear...
MUSTACHES OF THE WORLD
I've heard the ancient prophecy, that's whispered in the secret places
About how all the moustaches, will be set free from all the faces
Right out from underneath each nose, and sneaking down and past your toes...

Moustaches of the World, Moustaches of the World, mustaches that's right
Moustaches of the World, Moustaches of the World, mustaches tonight...

And now they're clumping all together, a curly, wavy mess of hair,
It's getting larger every second, mustaches joining everywhere
A ball as big as big can be, headed straight for your city...

Moustaches of the World, Moustaches of the World, mustaches that's right
Moustaches of the World, Moustaches of the World, mustaches tonight

Let's go to Chopper 6: what are you seeing?
It's quite amazing really: giant hair ball 10 stories high!
Let's get down to Marlene Noodles on the ground: what are you seeing?
Chuck, these mustaches are clumped together and speeding down I-35!

The moustaches come in peace, but there's something that they crave
You may want to cut your bangs, you might even want to shave
And when they knock upon your door, give them the hair that they came for...

Moustaches of the World, Moustaches of the World, mustaches that's right
Moustaches of the World, Moustaches of the World, mustaches tonight...
Moustaches of the World, Moustaches of the World, mustaches that's right
Moustaches of the World, Moustaches of the World, mustaches tonight...


SMITTEN FOR KITTEN
Ahem, please excuse me, today is moving in day for this baby and I have a short list of... demands

You see, I've taken my throne here in this happy home
With my rattle as my scepter, I'll be my kingdom's protector
I may seem too demanding but soon I'll be glad handing

For the kitten she is smitten

If you want me to sit in that chair, bring a ripe slice of pear
I'll show you terrible twos if you make me wear those shoes
You'll think I pushed the throttle if you don't bring that baby bottle

For the kitten she is smitten

Look, I know this may come as a bit of a shock to you
But I'm the new baby of the house and that means a few things will be changing forthwith
I intend to maintain a benevolent rule, however I do require several things
and demand absolute perfection

A kitten that purrs, she wants to make it hers
If it's in her sight everything's all right

Now, in fact I feel I'll sound off, for all of these clothes should be off
But for the kitten, I am smitten

Yes I know I asked for the slice of cheese, I don't want it anymore!

Go to sleep? You must be joking.
Yes you certainly hold me, no you cannot
Let me wear that dress, oh look now I'm a mess
You see, being royalty is an exercise in contradiction but I'm committed to the process, however strenuous it might appear to be, ahem

I may fall into fits of rage, if you turn the page,
Or if you bring me the toy that I asked for
And if you turn your back in the kitchen, you may find that I've gone missing, most notably

For the kitten she is smitten

How can we be expected to eat these mashed peas when you know that we detest mashed peas? Actually, I would indeed like those mashed peas. Thank you.

A kitten could make her life bearable (this apple sauce is terrible)
A kitten so stuffed surely would be enough

I appreciate your attention, but once more might I mention that
for the kitten I am smitten
for the kitten she is smitten
for the kitten she is smitten
TIME TO MAKE THE DONUTS
Time to make the donuts
Time to make the donuts
It's time to make the donuts today
Time to make the donuts
For you and for your grown ups
It's time to make the donuts right away

When you wake at half past eight
A donut sure would be real great
But did you ever wonder from where it came?
I get out of bed at 3:15
Put the donut mix in the donut machine
And they come out one by one all the same

Twists and crullers, maple bars
Sprinkles, glazed and creams
You eat them in your fancy cars
With your soccer teams

Time to make the donuts
Time to make the donuts
Time to make the donuts today
Eat so many donuts
You might just have to throw up
It's time to make the donuts right away

You realize it's getting rough
When one dozen is never enough
So you head on back down to the donut store
And here I am as sure as rain
With the steaming donuts in the window pane
I make them all and then I make some more

Roll them out and cut them round
These donuts known all over town
And every one's a little piece of me
Fry them, bake them, lay them out
Donuts are all I talk about
But I guarantee that you will be hungry

Late at night when it's quiet out
And the moon begins to rise
I drift away but my dream's about
The donuts in my eyes


WIND UP ROBOT
When I was just a tiny
A tiny, tiny boy
I got a little, unassuming novelty toy

A wind up robot
Made out of gears and tin
And this here is the story
of everywhere it's been

CHORUS: WIND-UP-ROBOT
WOUND UP SO TIGHT
WIND-UP-ROBOT
GOING ALL DAY AND NIGHT

I wound it up real good
Thought it would cross the floor
But it did more than that
It headed out the door
It couldn't go that far I thought
It'll wind on down and stop
But that little metal robot
Marched on down the block singing...

CHORUS

I chased it down the street
I wouldn't let it pass
But when I went to grab it
It went zooming fast
I fell to the ground
With a big ol' crashing thud
It kept moving through the town
And I was covered all in mud

It was singing,
CHORUS

It was picking up speed
Like it had found another gear
People started running round
Screaming, filled with fear
The police set up a barricade
At the edge of town
But the tiny little robot
Simply knocked it down, singing,

CHORUS

Some things are just unstoppable
No matter what their size
When you think you've seen it all
You might be in for a surprise
Word is that tiny robot
Is still going strong today
Somewhere in the hills, way past town
You might hear it say

CHORUS
LOVESTRUCK UNICORN
Unicorn was all alone
Nobody to talk to
You never saw a sad unicorn
Like one who wants to be two
Life's not all rainbows and sparkles
With the loneliness gettin to you
Sad and lonely what's a unicorn to do?

With the sparkly shoes Unicorn got the blues it's such a sad sight to see
Well he flyin around And wearing that frown Unicorn is unhappy
Flyin around in a funk Head all filled with junk Saddest one ever been born
Ain't nobody at home Spending time all alone A lovestruck unicorn

Unicorn, that's no way to feel. You gotta put yourself out there!

So unicorn he got busy
Got a haircut and a suit
Cleaned out his whole stable
And bought a basket of fruit
Life's not all rainbows and sparkles
With the loneliness gettin you down
And that's when a little narwhal
Narwhal it came around

And when the unicorn saw the horn on that Narwhal, it knew that though they came from different parts of the animal kingdom that they would remain together for the rest of their lives.

The rainbows were bright Everything was all right It sure was plain to see
With a narwhal in tow Got some get up and go Unicorn was so happy
Flyin around with some zest No longer a mess Happiest ever been born
And that's the end I suppose The way the story goes for
A lovestruck unicorn
A lovestruck unicorn
A lovestruck unicorn

THE BAND NEXT DOOR
Every night when supper's done
Everybody does a chore
That's when we hear a little rumbling
Coming from next door
There's a family in there just like us
We've seen them at the park
But things start getting interestin'
When it's gettin' dark

There's a thump thump thump
Cause they're banging on the floor
And a boom-de-boom-de-boom
That shakes every two by four
And a jingle and a jangle
That's so hard to ignore
There's something that's happenin'
With that family next door
Is there a band next door?

We decide to march right over
And stop this crazy song
But when that door opens up
They invite us to play along
Sister grabs a pot
And I grab a pan
Both our grinning parents
Decide to lend a hand

So we got pots and pans and hands
And that thump thump thump
And a boom-de-boom-de-boom
And a jingle and a jangle
Our voices really soar...
It's awfully fun making noise
With that family next door
We're in the band next door

We have so much jammin'
With all of our neighbors from next door
We all agree it's time, to put it on the line
To take this rag tag crew out on tour

The van gets packed so tight
We're quite a heavy load
But we sing on happily
Headed down the road
MY GUITAR
My guitar...
Who do you think you are
Following me everywhere
I tell you I've got work to do
But you don't care

My guitar
Who do you think you are
Trying to tag along
I tell you stay inside
But you sing that sad sad song

When I was three
That's when it
that's when it started, see
Dad brought home an old stray
More than a little bit shaggy
But it loved to play...

Wherever I'd be
It was like,
it was like like gravity
I'd try to up and go
But that guitar followed me round
With it's neck hung low

My guitar
Who do you think you are
Followed me right to school
While I'm trying multiply fractions
Strumming's against the rules
Against the rules, against the rules

My guitar
Who do you think you are
Guess you're my old best friend
And you'll be nipping at my heels
Til the very end